As I write this, I’m praying to the literary Gods I’m granted enough talent to accurately convey the true essence of this seemingly harmless conversation regarding non sequiturs.
The lead in: My Wife, The Boy and I are heading home from a family gathering at the beach house. We’re discussing the conversational contributions of one of the guests WHO, I might add, we very much love…
Me: …she jumps in the conversation stream and begins spinning off a tangential …
The Boy: …Yeah! She’s clearly building to a triumphant climax…
Me: …which ultimately turns out to be the most boring non sequiturs you’ve heard, yet!
Wife: What’s a non sequitur?
Me: Well, it’s a…umm actually, quite often, your contribution to a topic is a non sequitur.
The Boy: You sort of come out of the blue. See, conversations are, usually, sort of linear and sequential.
Me: Yep, I’m sort of an extreme with a topic. Like a telephone pole…maybe the older ones that look like a double crossed “T”
The Boy: And since I’m sort of both of you, mine tend to be like a tree. The trunk is the root topic and all the branches spawn from it. Or spawn from branches of it.
The Wife: Yeah, so?
The Boy: You’re like a tree with branches, just sort of, floating in mid-air. They may come from that tree trunk, or maybe not.
Me: It’s hard to tie your comment back to the original subject. Sometimes it’s painful…
Wife: I’M GREY!
The Boy/Me:….???!!! Hysterical laughter!
Wife: What?! Why…I’m Grey, like the tree branch!
The Boy: *Gasp*, did…you really…?!
Me: *Breath*, THAT DIDN’T JUST HAPPEN! I may have to pull over!
Wife: I’m grey, like when you said, you’re black & white
The Boy: ???